Peace in Provision

Matthew 14:24, 32
(24)"but the boat was already a considerable distance form land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it."
(32)"And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down."

Matthew 14: 22-32 are verses that have penetrated my heart more than once and in many different circumstances, but this most recent time is the one I want to share today. For it was peace in God's provision that I prayed, and these are the verses that He lead me to. I find it interesting at times, that though I grew up with a strong knowledge of basic Bible stories, I am very deficient in the chronology of the events. And just now, as I was looking in my Bible to refer to these verses, I noticed that the section just previous, is the story of the five loaves and two fish. And the section, just before that, was when the disciples buried John the Baptist. All of this in chapter 14 of Matthew! I am so blown away by how even the sequence of events in history have purpose in my life. All of scripture has meaning and purpose, and even the order of the events recorded has meaning today.

My focus will still be on the part of chapter 14 when Jesus walked on water, but I will refer to the events of the entire chapter. I recommend reading it. I said in the last post, that I was going to tell you more about the illness I have experienced for the past several weeks. It started at the end of October when I had the mumps, then after one day of normalcy, I began to get sick again. For a week, I had symptoms that seemed like appendicitis or maybe a kidney stone, and I became concerned when I didn't get any better. Finally, one night, I became overwhelmed by the pain and the nagging feeling that it might be something requiring medical help. I hated to go to the hospital and pick up lots of germs, if it was just a kidney stone. I figured I could just pass it at home. Plus, the expense concerned me. In fact, that was the main reason for my hesitation. I asked a friend to pray for me to have wisdom about whether or not to go. She did pray with me and later called me back to say that, as she continued to pray on her own, she felt that God was telling her that I should go to the emergency room. She asked me a question that really gave me the courage to go. She asked, "If you had as much money as _________ (a friend with a very good income), would you go?" Then she reminded me that my Father in Heaven owns everything and that He would provide.

For as long as I can remember, I have had to trust God with my finances. At some point, I believed that a college degree would help me to provide for myself, but that was short lived. I became a "stay-home mom" and my husband took a job that pays him only commission. Over the years, many people have questioned our decisions, but God has confirmed time after time that we are doing what He called us to do and that He is our "reliable income".

I did go to the emergency room and learned that I had developed a bacterial infection from having the mumps, and that I had at least 25 kidney stones. Long story short, I went to a specialist, and he scheduled me for surgery to crush the two largest stones. The day before the surgery, after learning the cost, I became very frightened. For six weeks, I had hung on to the promise that My father, who loves me, would provide. I even stepped out in faith and went to a specialist, something I had asked God to provide for the past twelve years. And I marveled that,in my time of great need, He could provide a physician, new to town, amazing in his skill, and with an admirable bedside manner. So what in the mess made me take my eyes off of Jesus and look down at my circumstance? What made me doubt that a father, who could call me out during a storm, toward the refuge of His arms, and give me the ability to walk toward Him, would provide for a surgery bill?

Not what, but who. And he is the same "who" that caused Peter to look at the wind and doubt Jesus. Satan. What is interesting to me is that the wind was always there. Scripture does not say that the disciples were frightened by the wind, but by Jesus. They believed He was a ghost. But Peter, desperately wanted to believe it was indeed, Jesus. He wanted to believe so badly, that he was willing to risk death for Jesus to prove Himself. If Jesus was not who He said he was, Peter would have surely died. But if He was who He said He was..., Oh how Peter needed Him to be!

Verse 24 says that the boat was buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

Buffeted means to strike and comes from the Greek word: kolaphizo-of the base of kolazo; to curtail, to chastise (or reserve for infliction):-punish; to rap with the fist. Isn't that just what the disciples had been through that day? They had been through great tragedy and loss over John the Baptist and on the tail of that, came the miraculous, yet exhausting sermon on the mount and all that it entailed. And then the storm?!?

I have always been able to see myself in Peter. He is so passionate in his love for Jesus and yet, he is just so darn human! The guy had had enough! He kept the faith through so much and then, in an instant, he shifted his gaze, and began to sink. I can identify. It's not that Jesus hasn't proved Himself over and over. It is just that I am human. And Satan is as real as Jesus. And he strikes over and over. And if faith in Jesus is what sustains me in the storm, Satan will strike my faith.

Verse 32, says that when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.

When Jesus got into the middle of Peter's circumstance, it ceased to punish him. I found myself saying many times in the past year, "The hits just keep coming." My family experienced tragedy and loss and in spite of our grief, we had to continue facing life. Through it all, I clung to Jesus. But I am human. And it only took a surgery bill to make me doubt. I took my eyes off of Jesus, but He never took His eyes off of me. I cried out for Him to restore my faith and He gave me these verses. He climbed right into the source of my fear and made it stop beating me. He returned my peace-peace in His provision. Scripture shows us that He restored Peter's faith. He provided safety for Peter. He has provided a physician for me and daily, I witness His provision in my finances. He provided forgiveness when Peter doubted and failed, and He does the same for me, for all of us. Most of all, He provided for Peter's salvation and for yours and mine, through Jesus. If He never provided in this life, eternity would be more than enough. But He does provide for us here, as we walk this walk. To God be the glory!!!