Answering "YES" and Accepting "NO"

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

Hmmm...A while back, maybe a year and a half ago, I studied the book of Esther. It was life-changing for me and the verse that captured me was the second part of Esther 4:14, which says, "And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this?" Mordecai was compelling Esther to risk her life by petitioning the king to spare the lives of the Jewish people. Seeing how she was Jewish herself, she could pretty much count on dying either way, but the opportunity to act was at hand, and act she did! And she was able to save her people by using the position that God put her in (or called her to).

Since then, I committed to say "yes" to God no matter what He asks of me, and I looked forward to how He might use me. I was a little surprised, when at first, He called me to some very unglamorous positions. Yet I learned to delight in saying "yes" even to the lowliest or simplest of calls. For He placed inside me a desire to please Him. Later, He called me to some bigger tasks, and though at times, I felt unequipped, unworthy, or just plain scared, the Holy Spirit provided me with the power to say "yes". And even better, God helped me to accomplish them!

Please do not think that I am boasting, because I know me, and no "yes" ever came from me. Unfortunately, in my journey of learning to give God my "yeses", I have become quite stubborn in accepting His "nos". You've got it! I have become mighty proud in thinking that God must want to use me for absolutely everything. Just because I can do all things through Him, doesn't mean that His plan is to accomplish all things through me.

Really, when you come right down to it, I am boasting. But not to you-just to myself. I have come to believe that there are certain things that I am good at and that come naturally to me. Therefore, God should always let me be the one to do them. Then, if there is something out of my character that He calls me to do, I will rely on Him to accomplish it through me. That's where I have been mistaken. Nothing, absolutely nothing, I ever do well comes from my own nature. God created me. He gave me certain talents and abilities, but I only ever do them, because He has made me willing and able.

This all slammed me in the face this week, when three times, He told me "no". Three things this week were very important to me, and being a planner, I had attended to every detail... or so I thought. Just after I published my last post on Monday night, my face began to hurt. Long story short, I woke up with the face of a hippopotamus and sure enough, I have the mumps. The mumps! Who gets the mumps? I am so sad, and my ego has taken a huge hit, because as it turns out, God still accomplished what He saw fit, without my contribution.

But the blessing in it all is this: By God teaching me this lesson, I have the opportunity to change. I have the opportunity to become more like Christ. I am taking on a new shape at this very moment. And though to look at my face, you might say that I resemble a very large lump of clay more than ever before, I actually feel lighter. It is as if some extra dirt has been removed, and oh, how I feel my Father's hand in me, sustaining me through this disappointment! I am more aware of who He is and what He has made of me. I am blessed to have the talents He has given me. I am even more blessed that He allows me (from time to time) to participate in things I am not normally good at. Most of all, I am blessed the He is still working on me. What's greater than any talent or any ability, is the promise of scripture that the Lord's purposes prevail. Thank God!!!